What I see

A tan telephone, three packages of printing paper, a printer, these weird, gray-and-white tabletops of the computer lab, the label on the monitor that profoundly reads, "FCLUSTER03", the keys with all their different labels: G, H, ,, <, &, A, !, ~, #, $, O, I have freedom to write whatever I want, like things you can't say in real life. FGEJKLHSGADKJDASG. JJNAF::::SDAN!@ Ever heard anyone make sounds like that?

Last night I laid in bed. It was dark, quiet, familar (well, nothing's quite familar at school--nothing's quite comfortably familar, anyway--then you go back home and everything's too familar); my bed was everything beds usually are. Comfortable (not comfortably familar though), soft, and that wonderful, gross feeling bed sheets aquire after a while: moist. I made myself "comfortable", as in, physically comfortable but thoughts flooding to every part of my brain, and looked up at the ceiling of the bunkbed overtop of me. Will was up there, and Eric to my left. Our beds hold this interesting formation. They're all bunched up together in one corner like four idiot elephants who've found a mouse in the room. I sat there and breathed, thinking of a lot of things I didn't want to. I listened to my buddies talking over a problem Eric was having. I started to join in with little grunts of agreement and words of understanding. After a while I began to recite to them everything I was feeling. I wanted to just go to sleep, yaknow, actually get some sleep because I've been so out of it in each and every way lately. But there I was, spouting off my feelings, conflicting memories coming to mind, like earlier, when I'd read in Proverbs, a verse which says, "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back." Will fell to sleep at some point, but Eric listened on. When I'd finished, he told me he'd pray for me. I remember his cold hand patting my back. Relunctantly, I told him I'd pray for him, too. I say relunctantly, because isn't that just the thing to say? To answer back with a blessing you've just been given? I turned onto my stomach, then realized what I'd done. "Wow," I said, "sorry that all turned into something about me." He said it was okay, and within a few minutes he was asleep, like Will. I didn't know where our man was, Ike. Maybe he was hanging out with his girlfriend in one of the lobbys. I laid there as usually for longer than my roommates, unable to fall to sleep right away. I thought a few more thoughts that I really didn't want to, talked to God a little bit, and drifted away. I didn't get up the next morning till almost 2 in the afternoon.

Last year I was in an English class. Comp. 111. My teacher was always saying, "Don't say it, show it." In other words, paint a picture of your point by giving examples. Here I've tried to paint a picture...I'm not sure what of.