A Cert'in Yearnin'

Listen. I want to write a story. Then I want to show it to a bunch of other friends who find writing stories a phenomenon, like I do. Then I want to draw a big picture, 2 ½ feet by 3 and show it to the same friends who also find that creating images is a quality way to spend one’s time. We all love the smell of paint, paper, coffee, and charcoal. I love their company. I can come to them with anything creative I do. They’re always appreciative.

I wish these were my circumstances, that I had a large circle of friends like this. But it’s not like this. I have a busy schedule that doesn’t even allow me to be around one person like this for an extended period of time. So I’m forced to write on my own, to create on my own. All by my lonesome; and it’s not just like writing flows out of me without any effort at all. I have to at least choose to do it, so that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Success comes through committing yourself again and again to your desired goal. Well, I want to be a good writer. Therefore I must write whenever I can, and whenever I feel like it. Once I get going I can keep going; all it takes is for me to start doing it. That’s what I did about 10 minutes ago when I began writing this bit of…whatever it is.

Now, I’ll admit: I’m hesitant to start any big writing project, because that means you have to stick with something. But maybe my fear has to do with having to keep committing myself to the goal. If I can simply keep on committing myself, which isn’t actually difficult for me to do with writing, then I know—well, now that I think about it—that I am adequate to complete a big writing project. Committing myself, again and again…hm. It’s like repenting to God each day and letting him work through you. I pray that God would take my life each day, as well as my writing, and help me produce great things for His glory. That would be awesome. I have to keep in mind that committing to God comes first, then personal creation. I feel dirty and sinful right now.